by yoursl | Apr 30, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion |
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog centered on communicating about sex and gave readers some suggestions on how to do just that with their current partners. The other side of communication is listening. What happens if the communication about sex breaks down, especially when a partner isn’t being open-minded to sexy suggestions or is simply not listening? Being able to communicate and to listen to one another are cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Hard work must be done or tough decisions must be made when communication in any relationship breaks down. Use as many forms of communication as possible to get the message across. Some people prefer to write out their thoughts. In this case, emailing or texting a sexual suggestion may achieve better results than trying to just verbalize the suggestion. If a partner is not listening because he or she won’t let anyone finish a sentence, sit the partner down and very nicely tell him or her this quality is harming the relationship’s ability to grow and that this needs to improve, starting today. Give the situation a few months to see if there has been any positive changes. If there is no change and the behavior is still present, a tough decision about leaving the relationship may be the next step if the behavior is indeed a deal-breaker. Successful relationships of any kind depend on the ability of all parties involved to compromise. Small suggestions, such as a new sex position to try or the addition of some sexy attire, should really not be an issue, but could be depending on the suggestion as the...
by yoursl | Apr 23, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Taboo Topics |
Depending on the source, a taboo is defined as generally as “not acceptable to talk about or do” to as specific as “a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behavior is either too scared or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake, under threat of supernatural punishment.” The more general definition is what the taboo portion of the Your Sexy Librarian blog is based upon, which means anything that people shush others over is fair game for a blog topic. American society bottles up communication about certain topics, not because those topics are truly taboo but rather just plain uncomfortable for other people to think about or to discuss openly. One of these topics is a less than ideal medical diagnosis, such as a high-risk pregnancy or one involving birth defects, the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease or a positive cancer screening. I grew up with a mother who was diagnosed with a rare and often deadly form of skin cancer in the midst of my childhood. Her disease and its treatment would shape my childhood in many ways, both negative and positive, and would build my foundation as a natural caregiver. The Coolest. Mom. Ever. recently told me that, when she was first diagnosed, the other Parent-Teacher Organization mothers shied away from her. She believes this was because they were fearful of her disease. At that time, cancer was a death sentence more often than not. For whatever reason, my mom had a smaller support system than she deserved as she battled for her life. My mom has told my brother and...
by yoursl | Apr 16, 2015 | Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
The basic concept of the condom has existed for hundreds of years, but the modern-day design of the individual, foiled-wrapped packets we use today came much later in the evolution of the condom. The reasons for condom use changed throughout its evolution as well. The one consistency for the condom throughout history is that the origin of the word “condom” is still unknown. Egyptian paintings depict condom use as far back as 950 B.C.E., putting the age of the most basic condom at roughly 3,000-years-old. The Romans used oiled animal bladders and lengths of animal intestines as penile sheaths. In other parts of the world, such as Japan, early condoms were made from fine leather. These primitive penile sheaths were used to prevent venereal diseases and were not used to avoid unwanted pregnancies, because, historically speaking, men considered pregnancy to be solely a female concern. In the mid-1500s, Italian physician and anatomy professor Gabriello Falloppio designed a medicated linen sheath that fit over the glans, or the head of the penis, that was secured in place by the foreskin. This sheath was intended to prevent users from contracting venereal diseases, especially syphilis which was spreading rapidly throughout Asia and Europe at the time. Falloppio’s invention was the first clearly documented prophylactic for the penis. According to his records, Falloppio tested his sheath on “over a thousand men, with complete success.” Soon after Falloppio’s invention was created, a version was created for circumcised men in which the sheath, a standard six inches in length, was tied securely at the base of the penis with a pink ribbon. Other condoms at...
by yoursl | Apr 9, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
I find inspiration from blog topics in everyday life, through interactions with other people, from a blurb on the radio, from a news story on television or from a Tweet or facebook post. I asked my friend J.R. Mounts, the creator of Scairy Tales Noir, for suggestions on blog topics that would appeal to male readers. J.R. suggested I write about how men and women in relationships communicate with one another. I mulled J.R.’s suggestions over in the car on my way to and from work this week, and I think he is on to a hot topic. Men and women in relationships can say to one another, “Can you take out the garbage?” or “Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?” without much issue. We easily talk about the laundry, the dog or the cat, what to eat for dinner, what movie to watch on date night and what kinds of landscaping we prefer. But when it comes to what we want sexually, sometimes men and women simply clam up and just won’t talk about individual sexual interests with their partners. This is a bit mind-boggling. The person we are most intimate with should be the one we confide in about our sexual desires and interests, but that is not always the case. How can men and women get past the clamming up reaction and communicate more freely with their partners about sex? For starters, acknowledge that conversations about sex and sexual interests can be difficult in general. As humans, the majority of us seem to have internal emotional and mental wiring that makes us want to...
by yoursl | Apr 2, 2015 | Women's Sexual Health |
Breast cancer is the second leading cause of death among women. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime, according to the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF). “Each year it is estimated that over 200,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with breast cancer, and more than 40,000 will die,” reports NBCF on their website. A mammogram is an X-ray of the breast and can be used to detect breast cancer. There are two types of mammograms: a screening mammogram which is used when there are no signs or symptoms of the disease and a diagnostic mammogram which is used after a lump or other sign of the disease is found. A diagnostic mammogram takes longer than a screening mammogram as it allows for multiple views of the breast from several angles. Not all organizations agree on mammogram guidelines. For example, doctors at the Mayo Clinic offer mammograms to women beginning at age 40 and continuing annually, which is typically yearly. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends biennial (every other year) screening mammograms for women ages 50 to 74 with selective offering of mammograms to those women under age 50 with personal and/or family history of breast cancer. My mother (also known as Coolest. Mom. Ever.) dreads her yearly mammogram, so I make an appointment for both of us to visit our gynecologist. I drive us the 120 round-trip miles to the doctor’s office. After our appointments, we enjoy some mother-daughter time as we go shopping and have lunch. This year went a differently than planned. Four days after...
