by yoursl | Nov 13, 2014 | Uncategorized |
In the world of blogging, trackbacks and pingbacks are a good thing. Both are the same type of comment in which a link has been created to a person’s blog post from an external website, thus allowing a reciprocal link to that website to be created. In a real-life explanation, I posted a blog titled “Learning From the Past,” and a website selling clothing and jewelry inspired by Vivienne Westwood created a pingback to my blog post. The site in question contains a shortened version of her surname, but my mind immediately read “Vivienne Westwood” when I checked the site out. Normally, a pingback is an amazing thing to be given, but I admit I was confused by this clothing company creating not one, but five, pingbacks to my blog post. I could not find any direct link between this clothing line and my blog about sexual health, sexual issues, and other taboo topics. For this reason, I labeled all the pingbacks as spam and thought little about it, until I was stuck in traffic on my drive home. I began to wonder about Vivienne Westwood and if she had any connection to my blog topics, so I did a little research. I discovered she is a famous fashion designer with some direct and much indirect influence on certain aspects of our sexuality today. I personally admire women who encourage others to be strong and to achieve greatness, which is one reason I really wanted to write about Westwood and her connections to our sexuality. ...
by yoursl | Nov 6, 2014 | Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
Fetlife.com bills itself as “a free social network for the BDSM and fetish community.” The site claims to have around 3,329,225 members. A young professional I met at a networking event suggested I sign up as a member to learn about the kink world while discovering sources and topics for future blog posts. After my car mechanic with no ties to the young networking professional suggested I sign up as well, I seriously considered the suggestion for a few weeks before checking the site out for myself. At sign up, I knew immediately that I have much to learn about human sexuality, the kink world, fetishes and taboos and fetlife users. I am approaching fetlife with an open mind. I just want to learn as much as I can about fetishes and taboos from an intellectual perspective without having to actually participate in a bondage boot camp or witness a sadomasochist show and tell. Fetlife has a dozen sexual orientation options to select from while creating a user profile. (Note: These terms will be printed in bold in this blog.) The commonly known choices include straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, unsure, and not applicable. Other choices in this category are not as commonly known by some people. Many of the terms were unknown to me, so I searched for definitions and included them below. Heteroflexible is defined by Word Spy as “a heterosexual person who is open to relationships with people of the same sex.” The...
by yoursl | Oct 30, 2014 | Sexual Abuse |
Ray Rice, a former football player for the Baltimore Ravens, has appealed the NFL’s decision to indefinitely suspend him from the league after evidence surfaced that clearly shows Rice in the midst of an act of domestic violence. In a surveillance video, Rice is shown knocking his then fiancée and now wife unconscious in an elevator before hauling her lifeless body out of the elevator and dumping her face-first on the floor. Rice is claiming it is “unfair” that he was punished twice by the NFL for his behavior. The first punishment was a two-day suspension that occurred prior to media sources showing addition footage of the elevator video. Once that extra footage, which shows Rice clearly punching his fiancée/wife in the face, became public, the NFL gave Rice a second punishment of an indefinite suspension from the league. His appeal is scheduled to begin on Nov. 5. From my own and others’ past experiences, I know that domestic violence on the Ray Rice scale does not happen out of nowhere. Domestic violence usually begins slowly, with small attempts to control the victim financially, emotionally, and physically, and then starts to gain speed as the victim loses more of his or her self-esteem throughout the abusive relationship. A Ray Rice incident is on the far end of the domestic violence spectrum and is a good indicator that his relationship with his fiancée/wife most likely is or has been one riddled with domestic violence. The NFL...
by yoursl | Oct 23, 2014 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion |
Wouldn’t it be a fabulous world if we were all Stepford perfect? None of us would ever feel inadequate. We would not have moments of doubt or ridicule. Our relationships would be smooth and glossy, like a Tiffany lamp, not crackled and baroque like a made-in-grade-school mug. Snowflakes and flowers have the potential to be perfect, but not people. We are beautiful in our flaws and emotionally adept through our imperfections. The trick is finding someone who will love us through, and sometimes, in spite of our imperfections. I have more failed relationships than successful one, and my advice comes from personal experience and not from books or expert research. I am sharing what I have done wrong in relationships so that, perhaps, others can learn in an easier way what I learned the hard way. Stop being stubborn. There are moments when people must compromise. Each party in a relationship, be it an intimate one or a business one, needs to be able to reach an agreement with the other party. Don’t compromise on personal morals or values, but do take a two-hour road trip to your partner’s hometown to buy a doughnut at the county fair if it will make your partner happy. Communicate. I am guilty of believing people are mind-readers and will know what I need or want at any given moment. I recently learned to share my intent before asking my partner to join me for...
by yoursl | Oct 16, 2014 | Bedroom Fun, Dating/Relationships, Just For Fun, Sex and Literature, Sexual Discussion |
My collection of sexual health books rivals those of major metropolitan libraries. My residence is littered with these books and is a source of amusement for my friends and family, who peruse small piles of my books when they visit. I almost always have a book with me, and it is almost always a book about something sexual. (Side note: When I shop at my local bookstore, I sit down in the sexual health section, make a stack of books that look interesting, and then make my selections for purchase out of that pile. As I am doing this, I have noticed people avoid me and the aisle I am sitting in as if a plague were present instead of one woman on a quest. My advice for people who need a few moments of peace and quiet is to go sit in the sexual health aisle of a bookstore and enjoy a moment of solitude.) Rarely do I read a sexual health book I think every adult needs to read as well. I have just finished reading an absolute gem of a book called Men Are Pigs And That’s a Good Thing by Ron Sturgeon, who spent four years interviewing men and women for his book. Sturgeon took the techniques he used to build successful businesses and applied them to suggest ways to create long-lasting, sex-filled relationships for adults of all ages. His book is geared toward the heterosexual male-female relationship, but his suggestions for building intimacy can be used by anyone of any...
