by yoursl | May 7, 2015 | Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
Happy 55th birthday to the birth control pill! On May 9, 1960, the United States Food and Drug Administration approved the first oral contraceptive, Enovid. The four Americans behind this miracle pill were feminist Margaret Sanger (1879-1966), scientist Dr. Gregory Pincus (1903-1967), Roman Catholic obstetrician and gynecologist Dr. John Rock (1890-1984) and heiress Katharine McCormick (1875-1967). This quartet of masterminds came together in the 1950s to create the country’s first oral contraceptive. Sanger was a birth control activist, sex educator and nurse. She was one of 11 children born into a Roman Catholic working-class Irish family. Sanger saw firsthand the effect multiple pregnancies and even miscarriages had on her own mother. Seeking a better life for herself, Sanger attended Claverack College and Hudson River Institute before studying nursing at White Plains Hospital. In 1902, she married architect William Sanger. The couple would eventually have three children. In the early 1910s, Sanger began working in New York’s Lower East Side and saw multitudes of women “suffering due to frequent childbirth and self-induced abortions.” In 1912, Sanger began her campaign to educate women about sex and pregnancy when she wrote a newspaper column called “What Every Girl Should Know.” Sanger coined the term “birth control” and began to distribute contraceptive information and contraceptives, such as douches and suppositories, to women. Her 1914 publication The Woman Rebel promoted a woman’s right to access and use birth control. Sanger was indicted in 1915 for violating the Comstock Act because she had sent her publication through the mail. The law prohibited mailing information about contraceptives as well as actual contraceptives through the mail. To...
by yoursl | Apr 30, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion |
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog centered on communicating about sex and gave readers some suggestions on how to do just that with their current partners. The other side of communication is listening. What happens if the communication about sex breaks down, especially when a partner isn’t being open-minded to sexy suggestions or is simply not listening? Being able to communicate and to listen to one another are cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Hard work must be done or tough decisions must be made when communication in any relationship breaks down. Use as many forms of communication as possible to get the message across. Some people prefer to write out their thoughts. In this case, emailing or texting a sexual suggestion may achieve better results than trying to just verbalize the suggestion. If a partner is not listening because he or she won’t let anyone finish a sentence, sit the partner down and very nicely tell him or her this quality is harming the relationship’s ability to grow and that this needs to improve, starting today. Give the situation a few months to see if there has been any positive changes. If there is no change and the behavior is still present, a tough decision about leaving the relationship may be the next step if the behavior is indeed a deal-breaker. Successful relationships of any kind depend on the ability of all parties involved to compromise. Small suggestions, such as a new sex position to try or the addition of some sexy attire, should really not be an issue, but could be depending on the suggestion as the...
by yoursl | Apr 23, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Taboo Topics |
Depending on the source, a taboo is defined as generally as “not acceptable to talk about or do” to as specific as “a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behavior is either too scared or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake, under threat of supernatural punishment.” The more general definition is what the taboo portion of the Your Sexy Librarian blog is based upon, which means anything that people shush others over is fair game for a blog topic. American society bottles up communication about certain topics, not because those topics are truly taboo but rather just plain uncomfortable for other people to think about or to discuss openly. One of these topics is a less than ideal medical diagnosis, such as a high-risk pregnancy or one involving birth defects, the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease or a positive cancer screening. I grew up with a mother who was diagnosed with a rare and often deadly form of skin cancer in the midst of my childhood. Her disease and its treatment would shape my childhood in many ways, both negative and positive, and would build my foundation as a natural caregiver. The Coolest. Mom. Ever. recently told me that, when she was first diagnosed, the other Parent-Teacher Organization mothers shied away from her. She believes this was because they were fearful of her disease. At that time, cancer was a death sentence more often than not. For whatever reason, my mom had a smaller support system than she deserved as she battled for her life. My mom has told my brother and...
by yoursl | Apr 16, 2015 | Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
The basic concept of the condom has existed for hundreds of years, but the modern-day design of the individual, foiled-wrapped packets we use today came much later in the evolution of the condom. The reasons for condom use changed throughout its evolution as well. The one consistency for the condom throughout history is that the origin of the word “condom” is still unknown. Egyptian paintings depict condom use as far back as 950 B.C.E., putting the age of the most basic condom at roughly 3,000-years-old. The Romans used oiled animal bladders and lengths of animal intestines as penile sheaths. In other parts of the world, such as Japan, early condoms were made from fine leather. These primitive penile sheaths were used to prevent venereal diseases and were not used to avoid unwanted pregnancies, because, historically speaking, men considered pregnancy to be solely a female concern. In the mid-1500s, Italian physician and anatomy professor Gabriello Falloppio designed a medicated linen sheath that fit over the glans, or the head of the penis, that was secured in place by the foreskin. This sheath was intended to prevent users from contracting venereal diseases, especially syphilis which was spreading rapidly throughout Asia and Europe at the time. Falloppio’s invention was the first clearly documented prophylactic for the penis. According to his records, Falloppio tested his sheath on “over a thousand men, with complete success.” Soon after Falloppio’s invention was created, a version was created for circumcised men in which the sheath, a standard six inches in length, was tied securely at the base of the penis with a pink ribbon. Other condoms at...
by yoursl | Apr 9, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
I find inspiration from blog topics in everyday life, through interactions with other people, from a blurb on the radio, from a news story on television or from a Tweet or facebook post. I asked my friend J.R. Mounts, the creator of Scairy Tales Noir, for suggestions on blog topics that would appeal to male readers. J.R. suggested I write about how men and women in relationships communicate with one another. I mulled J.R.’s suggestions over in the car on my way to and from work this week, and I think he is on to a hot topic. Men and women in relationships can say to one another, “Can you take out the garbage?” or “Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?” without much issue. We easily talk about the laundry, the dog or the cat, what to eat for dinner, what movie to watch on date night and what kinds of landscaping we prefer. But when it comes to what we want sexually, sometimes men and women simply clam up and just won’t talk about individual sexual interests with their partners. This is a bit mind-boggling. The person we are most intimate with should be the one we confide in about our sexual desires and interests, but that is not always the case. How can men and women get past the clamming up reaction and communicate more freely with their partners about sex? For starters, acknowledge that conversations about sex and sexual interests can be difficult in general. As humans, the majority of us seem to have internal emotional and mental wiring that makes us want to...
by yoursl | Apr 2, 2015 | Women's Sexual Health |
Breast cancer is the second leading cause of death among women. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime, according to the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF). “Each year it is estimated that over 200,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with breast cancer, and more than 40,000 will die,” reports NBCF on their website. A mammogram is an X-ray of the breast and can be used to detect breast cancer. There are two types of mammograms: a screening mammogram which is used when there are no signs or symptoms of the disease and a diagnostic mammogram which is used after a lump or other sign of the disease is found. A diagnostic mammogram takes longer than a screening mammogram as it allows for multiple views of the breast from several angles. Not all organizations agree on mammogram guidelines. For example, doctors at the Mayo Clinic offer mammograms to women beginning at age 40 and continuing annually, which is typically yearly. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends biennial (every other year) screening mammograms for women ages 50 to 74 with selective offering of mammograms to those women under age 50 with personal and/or family history of breast cancer. My mother (also known as Coolest. Mom. Ever.) dreads her yearly mammogram, so I make an appointment for both of us to visit our gynecologist. I drive us the 120 round-trip miles to the doctor’s office. After our appointments, we enjoy some mother-daughter time as we go shopping and have lunch. This year went a differently than planned. Four days after...
by yoursl | Mar 26, 2015 | Taboo Topics, Women's Sexual Health |
Females differ from one another in how their individual exterior genitals look and in how they orgasm. Anal stimulation, vaginal stimulation, clitoral stimulation, or a blend of two or even all three of these can create a female orgasm. Some women only orgasm through one of the three forms of stimulation. Some women have never experienced an orgasm, a condition called anorgasmia. Other women have the ability to have multiple orgasms in the same sexual encounter. A woman named Savannah shared her experiences with clitoral stimulation and multiple orgasm during an interview to help unwrap the mystery of the female orgasm. Savannah maintained her virginity until she was 18-years-old and out of high school. She found herself with opportunities to experiment sexually with men her own age and quickly discovered that sex made her feel beautiful when she did not consistently feel that way in her everyday life. Savannah’s third sex partner was her then roommate’s boyfriend, and this one-time encounter was when Savannah discovered she could have multiple orgasms. Savannah points to this shining, yet not-so-shining, moment as a turning point in her individual sexuality. She remembers very vividly the feeling of this first multiple orgasm and how she withered and shook for a very long time afterwards. Her partner held her close, rubbed her back and delighted in her personal discovery. After this encounter, Savannah explained that she began to develop increased sexual desires that lead to dozens of partners in a just a few years’ time, but that she felt bad about having been the other woman in a few of those sexual encounters. Savannah said...
by yoursl | Mar 19, 2015 | Just For Fun, Men's Sexual Health, Sexual Discussion, Women's Sexual Health |
I was that child who asked “Why is the sky blue?” until I was satisfied with the answer I was given. My mother quickly adapted to my questions; she bought my brother and me a set of encyclopedias and a “how science works” book series along with two dictionaries. She gave us both unlimited access to the public library and encouraged me to bestow some questions on the librarians. We were both encouraged to read anything we wanted, no matter how challenging the material or how questionable in nature the material was deemed by other mothers. Our mother never stifled our creativity, intelligence or curiosity. Perhaps this is why I still ask questions to this day. I want to know as much as I can about everything that interests me, which is one reason I spend more time reading and researching than watching television. The other day I was reading a book for some ideas for some Tweets and found information that excited me. I discovered a treasure trove of anatomy-related information about sex and reproduction. I want to share this information because it is just good stuff to know. The Italian anatomist Gabriel Fallopius was born in 1523 in Modena, Italy, and served as a canon of the cathedral of Modena before returning to the study of medicine. In 1549, Fallopius became a professor of anatomy at the University of Pisa. He performed multitudes of dissections using human cadavers and described his work in the book Observationes anatomicae, which was published in 1561. Fallopius described many of the major nerves of the head and face as well as...
by yoursl | Mar 12, 2015 | Men's Sexual Health, Sexual Discussion |
It is a myth that the human male orgasm is synonymous with ejaculation. Orgasm is a nervous-system response while ejaculation is a reproductive one. Men can achieve an orgasm without ejaculating and can ejaculate without achieving an orgasm. The two acts are independent of one another and both do not always occur in the same sexual encounter. The male orgasm has 13 stages, as described in Sexy Origins and Intimate Things, by Charles Panati. A summary of the individual stages follows along with other nuggets of knowledge gleaned in my research of male anatomy and sexual response. During orgasm, the stage is when the shaft of the penis reaches its maximum length, width and rigidity. This phase is commonly referred to as a “hard-on.” Second, the head of the penis, or the glans, swells and darkens. This is the result of vasocongestion of blood in the penis itself. Prescription medications for treatment of erectile dysfunction can aid with regulating vasocongestion. (For the mechanics behind these drugs, please read the Your Sexy Librarian blog about these medications.) Third, the opening at the tip of the penis widens and is lubricated by fluid from the Cowper’s glands. These two glands, originally known as the bulbourethral glands but called Cowper’s glands in honor of English anatomist William Cowper, are about the size of peas and are located inferior, or lower than, the prostate and lateral, or sideways, from the urethra in the urogenital diaphragm in the male pelvis. Fourth, the testes enlarge by 50 to 100 percent of their normal size before rising and rotating to come into close contact with the body....
by yoursl | Mar 5, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
Last week, these news articles about sex made national headlines and created some conversational buzz. The North Carolina Ethics Commission publicly announced that it is “perfectly legal” for a lobbyist and a government official to have a sexual relationship with one another. The commission’s opinion, as reported in The Daily Beast, “essentially says that your body is a temple and sharing it with anyone else is a priceless gift.” The commission’s view that sex is “priceless” equates to “sex has no value.” Items of value need not be disclosed, according to the commission. In an editorial published by the Beaufort Observer, the paper denounced the commission’s opinion. “[S]ince the Ethics Commission has now ruled that sex has no value how will prostitution ever be prosecuted any more in this state? If sex has no value, how can prostitution be illegal?” the paper’s editorial argued. I prefer to think that the commission meant “having incalculable monetary, intellectual, or spiritual worth” or even “precious” as the meaning of “priceless.” In this regard, sex would indeed have value, even if we cannot describe that value in monetary terms. At the very least, a sexual relationship between a lobbyist and a government official should be considered unethical, a position that U.S. Senator Tom Tillis supports. In 2012, two of Tillis’ staff members due to relationships with lobbyists. Tillis, a Republican from North Carolina, enforced his personal policy of banning such behavior between lobbyists and members of his staff. “What these people are guilty of is very bad judgment,” Tillis said at the time of this staff members’ resignations. Since mid-December 2014,...
