The Magic of Movies; The Story Behind The Danish Girl

by | Dec 3, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, LGBT, Sex and Art, Sex and History, Sexual Discussion, Sexual Exploration |

People have been fascinated with movies for more than a century now. The first movie theatre devoted to showing moving pictures was the Nickelodeon, which opened on June 19, 1905, in Pittsburgh, Penn. The name Nickelodeon was a combination of the price of admission, a nickel, with the ancient Greek word for theatre, odeon. The theatre’s owner Harry Davis, a vaudeville impresario, bought a machine called a cinematograph from a Frenchman named Lumiere and set up a storefront theatre where everyone could afford the admission price. Davis showed a 10-minute thriller, The Great Train Robbery. A bonus scene at the end of the short film featured the film’s bandit, actor George Barnes, pointing his revolver at the camera lens and shooting point-blank directly into the camera. Audiences were terrified, but the love of movies was born as a result of this unexpected drama. Davis’ low overhead meant he could show the movie several times a day to thousands of people. Within months, Davis had opened more than a dozen Nickelodeons throughout Pittsburgh.   Movies are magical in that they allow us to trade our own realities for new ones, even for just a few hours, and that they can give us a different perspective of the world around us and of other people in lifestyles different than our own. Currently showing in theatres is The Danish Girl, which may make some people uncomfortable due to its controversial subject matter.   The Danish Girl, released in the United States on November 27, is about artist Einar Wegener (Eddie Redmayne), who prepares to undergo one of the first sex-change operations with...

Being Thankful

by | Nov 5, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Just For Fun |

I sat down and researched the history of bondage photography with the intent of writing about its history and its impact on America’s sexual history and culture, but I kept getting distracted by thoughts of Thanksgiving. Coolest. Mom. Ever.’s favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I take time off from work to spend an extra day with her, and we usually spend that time working side-by-side in the kitchen. I learned at an early age food is a form of love. It’s no wonder I am in a relationship with a partner who knocked down a wall to make the kitchen a more workable space and who bought a gorgeous range any chef would appreciate. I use that range every single day in living and well-established proof that “food is love.” This brings me to my partner, Dutch, who is the stuff of internet dating legend. I am quite open about how it took me 32 first dates to find Dutch and that I almost gave up the search for what is now one of the best gifts I have ever been given. Dutch’s love is just as precious to me as the gift of my mother teaching me to read and then encouraging me to read anything and everything available. Every day I am thankful for Dutch, for our relationship, for being able to come home to Dutch and for the amazing dates and adventures we have together. I recently pondered why our relationship has been so successful because it is the most successful of any relationship I’ve had up to this point. What makes Dutch and I’s relationship so different...

Communicating About Sex, Part 2

by | Apr 30, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion |

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog centered on communicating about sex and gave readers some suggestions on how to do just that with their current partners. The other side of communication is listening. What happens if the communication about sex breaks down, especially when a partner isn’t being open-minded to sexy suggestions or is simply not listening? Being able to communicate and to listen to one another are cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Hard work must be done or tough decisions must be made when communication in any relationship breaks down. Use as many forms of communication as possible to get the message across. Some people prefer to write out their thoughts. In this case, emailing or texting a sexual suggestion may achieve better results than trying to just verbalize the suggestion. If a partner is not listening because he or she won’t let anyone finish a sentence, sit the partner down and very nicely tell him or her this quality is harming the relationship’s ability to grow and that this needs to improve, starting today. Give the situation a few months to see if there has been any positive changes. If there is no change and the behavior is still present, a tough decision about leaving the relationship may be the next step if the behavior is indeed a deal-breaker. Successful relationships of any kind depend on the ability of all parties involved to compromise. Small suggestions, such as a new sex position to try or the addition of some sexy attire, should really not be an issue, but could be depending on the suggestion as the...

Cancer: The Human Experience

by | Apr 23, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Taboo Topics |

Depending on the source, a taboo is defined as generally as “not acceptable to talk about or do” to as specific as “a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behavior is either too scared or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake, under threat of supernatural punishment.” The more general definition is what the taboo portion of the Your Sexy Librarian blog is based upon, which means anything that people shush others over is fair game for a blog topic. American society bottles up communication about certain topics, not because those topics are truly taboo but rather just plain uncomfortable for other people to think about or to discuss openly. One of these topics is a less than ideal medical diagnosis, such as a high-risk pregnancy or one involving birth defects, the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease or a positive cancer screening. I grew up with a mother who was diagnosed with a rare and often deadly form of skin cancer in the midst of my childhood. Her disease and its treatment would shape my childhood in many ways, both negative and positive, and would build my foundation as a natural caregiver. The Coolest. Mom. Ever. recently told me that, when she was first diagnosed, the other Parent-Teacher Organization mothers shied away from her. She believes this was because they were fearful of her disease. At that time, cancer was a death sentence more often than not. For whatever reason, my mom had a smaller support system than she deserved as she battled for her life. My mom has told my brother and...

Communicating About Sex, Part 1

by | Apr 9, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |

I find inspiration from blog topics in everyday life, through interactions with other people, from a blurb on the radio, from a news story on television or from a Tweet or facebook post. I asked my friend J.R. Mounts, the creator of Scairy Tales Noir, for suggestions on blog topics that would appeal to male readers. J.R. suggested I write about how men and women in relationships communicate with one another. I mulled J.R.’s suggestions over in the car on my way to and from work this week, and I think he is on to a hot topic.   Men and women in relationships can say to one another, “Can you take out the garbage?” or “Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?” without much issue. We easily talk about the laundry, the dog or the cat, what to eat for dinner, what movie to watch on date night and what kinds of landscaping we prefer. But when it comes to what we want sexually, sometimes men and women simply clam up and just won’t talk about individual sexual interests with their partners. This is a bit mind-boggling. The person we are most intimate with should be the one we confide in about our sexual desires and interests, but that is not always the case. How can men and women get past the clamming up reaction and communicate more freely with their partners about sex?   For starters, acknowledge that conversations about sex and sexual interests can be difficult in general. As humans, the majority of us seem to have internal emotional and mental wiring that makes us want to...