by yoursl | Jun 4, 2015 | Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
The dictionary definition of an assumption is a fact or statement taken for granted or presuming that something is true. The Your Sexy Librarian definition of an assumption is making an ass out of you and me. I organized a meeting at work with several positive, outgoing people from other areas of the building. Our goal was to lay the foundation for a fundraising event. The meeting was going smoothly, until a young woman, who just moments before toted her multiple college degrees, suggested we create a summer fun basket because “everyone has kids!” Sigh. I despise assumptions because the little bastards just keep popping up despite their lack of truthful existence. Some great past examples of failed assumptions include, “Women with short hair are lesbians.” and “Women with short hair are not feminine.” Short hair does not measure femininity at all. That sexy woman with the short hair may very well be sporting matching La Perla undies, which are far more feminine than run-of-the-mill store bought underwear sold at mass retailers. Then there are the assumptions that men with bigger physical statures will be rude or mean, that all people who grow up in a trailer park turn out to be drug-abusing trash, that a rape victim “was asking for it” based on her attire and that all Catholics do not believe in birth control. Assumptions are essentially opinions that some people share without thinking. My absolute favorite asinine assumption was spoken by a middle-aged female newspaper editor. This woman had the nerve to say to me, “Your mom is from the Appalachians. Can she read?” Socio-economics and...
by yoursl | May 14, 2015 | Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
I was reading an independent weekly newspaper this week when an ad on the back cover caught my eye. I did a double-take as I could not believe what I was seeing. I had not realized such a thing was possible. Among the ads for bankruptcy, addiction help and lawyers specializing in suspended licenses was a bright pink advertisement for a cuddling company. Yes, a cuddling company, whom shall remain nameless for now. Curiosity got the better of me so I checked out this cuddling company’s website. There was a great deal of emphasis on the professional cuddling experience being all non-sexual touch. All participants are fully clothed before, during and after a cuddle session. The cuddling takes place in “the cuddle room” or, for an extra fee, at a private residence. The videos of example cuddle sessions portray a hybrid mix of cuddling and massage, which my partner vehemently declared “not cuddling!” According to the owner of the cuddling company, “Cuddling helps reduce stress, can help alcohol withdrawal, increases oxytocin levels and reduces levels of cortisol, which is a stress hormone.” The owner went on to say, “A 20-second hug can improve your day.” Before I write more on professional cuddling services, I would like for readers to better understand oxytocin and what it does in our bodies. Oxytocin is a hormone produced in the hypothalamus in the brain that is then transported to and secreted by the pea-sized pituitary gland, which is located at the base of the brain just beneath the hypothalamus. Oxytocin is both chemical and biological in nature because it performs two distinct...
by yoursl | May 7, 2015 | Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
Happy 55th birthday to the birth control pill! On May 9, 1960, the United States Food and Drug Administration approved the first oral contraceptive, Enovid. The four Americans behind this miracle pill were feminist Margaret Sanger (1879-1966), scientist Dr. Gregory Pincus (1903-1967), Roman Catholic obstetrician and gynecologist Dr. John Rock (1890-1984) and heiress Katharine McCormick (1875-1967). This quartet of masterminds came together in the 1950s to create the country’s first oral contraceptive. Sanger was a birth control activist, sex educator and nurse. She was one of 11 children born into a Roman Catholic working-class Irish family. Sanger saw firsthand the effect multiple pregnancies and even miscarriages had on her own mother. Seeking a better life for herself, Sanger attended Claverack College and Hudson River Institute before studying nursing at White Plains Hospital. In 1902, she married architect William Sanger. The couple would eventually have three children. In the early 1910s, Sanger began working in New York’s Lower East Side and saw multitudes of women “suffering due to frequent childbirth and self-induced abortions.” In 1912, Sanger began her campaign to educate women about sex and pregnancy when she wrote a newspaper column called “What Every Girl Should Know.” Sanger coined the term “birth control” and began to distribute contraceptive information and contraceptives, such as douches and suppositories, to women. Her 1914 publication The Woman Rebel promoted a woman’s right to access and use birth control. Sanger was indicted in 1915 for violating the Comstock Act because she had sent her publication through the mail. The law prohibited mailing information about contraceptives as well as actual contraceptives through the mail. To...
by yoursl | Apr 30, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion |
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog centered on communicating about sex and gave readers some suggestions on how to do just that with their current partners. The other side of communication is listening. What happens if the communication about sex breaks down, especially when a partner isn’t being open-minded to sexy suggestions or is simply not listening? Being able to communicate and to listen to one another are cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Hard work must be done or tough decisions must be made when communication in any relationship breaks down. Use as many forms of communication as possible to get the message across. Some people prefer to write out their thoughts. In this case, emailing or texting a sexual suggestion may achieve better results than trying to just verbalize the suggestion. If a partner is not listening because he or she won’t let anyone finish a sentence, sit the partner down and very nicely tell him or her this quality is harming the relationship’s ability to grow and that this needs to improve, starting today. Give the situation a few months to see if there has been any positive changes. If there is no change and the behavior is still present, a tough decision about leaving the relationship may be the next step if the behavior is indeed a deal-breaker. Successful relationships of any kind depend on the ability of all parties involved to compromise. Small suggestions, such as a new sex position to try or the addition of some sexy attire, should really not be an issue, but could be depending on the suggestion as the...
by yoursl | Apr 16, 2015 | Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
The basic concept of the condom has existed for hundreds of years, but the modern-day design of the individual, foiled-wrapped packets we use today came much later in the evolution of the condom. The reasons for condom use changed throughout its evolution as well. The one consistency for the condom throughout history is that the origin of the word “condom” is still unknown. Egyptian paintings depict condom use as far back as 950 B.C.E., putting the age of the most basic condom at roughly 3,000-years-old. The Romans used oiled animal bladders and lengths of animal intestines as penile sheaths. In other parts of the world, such as Japan, early condoms were made from fine leather. These primitive penile sheaths were used to prevent venereal diseases and were not used to avoid unwanted pregnancies, because, historically speaking, men considered pregnancy to be solely a female concern. In the mid-1500s, Italian physician and anatomy professor Gabriello Falloppio designed a medicated linen sheath that fit over the glans, or the head of the penis, that was secured in place by the foreskin. This sheath was intended to prevent users from contracting venereal diseases, especially syphilis which was spreading rapidly throughout Asia and Europe at the time. Falloppio’s invention was the first clearly documented prophylactic for the penis. According to his records, Falloppio tested his sheath on “over a thousand men, with complete success.” Soon after Falloppio’s invention was created, a version was created for circumcised men in which the sheath, a standard six inches in length, was tied securely at the base of the penis with a pink ribbon. Other condoms at...
by yoursl | Apr 9, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
I find inspiration from blog topics in everyday life, through interactions with other people, from a blurb on the radio, from a news story on television or from a Tweet or facebook post. I asked my friend J.R. Mounts, the creator of Scairy Tales Noir, for suggestions on blog topics that would appeal to male readers. J.R. suggested I write about how men and women in relationships communicate with one another. I mulled J.R.’s suggestions over in the car on my way to and from work this week, and I think he is on to a hot topic. Men and women in relationships can say to one another, “Can you take out the garbage?” or “Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?” without much issue. We easily talk about the laundry, the dog or the cat, what to eat for dinner, what movie to watch on date night and what kinds of landscaping we prefer. But when it comes to what we want sexually, sometimes men and women simply clam up and just won’t talk about individual sexual interests with their partners. This is a bit mind-boggling. The person we are most intimate with should be the one we confide in about our sexual desires and interests, but that is not always the case. How can men and women get past the clamming up reaction and communicate more freely with their partners about sex? For starters, acknowledge that conversations about sex and sexual interests can be difficult in general. As humans, the majority of us seem to have internal emotional and mental wiring that makes us want to...
