by yoursl | Dec 18, 2014 | Sexual Discussion, Women's Sexual Health |
Mastora, who was born in Sudan, cannot return to her birth country because she has spoken out about the sexual violence faced by women in Darfur. When I told a fellow networker that I was planning on writing about the sexual violence facing African women in refugee camps housing people affected by genocide, he advised me not to write about this particular taboo until my blog was “very well established.” I’ve always done things my own way, following my inner compass and not the opinion of others for self-guidance on the right thing to do. I am a believer in the First Amendment, which allows us freedom of speech as well as the freedom to stop listening to others and to decide what we want to read for ourselves. For those reasons, I am giving you the story of Mastora and the women she is trying to help in her native country of Sudan. A geography lesson is in order first. Sudan is the largest country in Africa, is located on the eastern side of the continent, and borders the Red Sea, Egypt, Chad, Uganda and six other countries. Across the Red Sea from Sudan lies Saudi Arabia. The region of Darfur is roughly the size of France, is located in the western part of Sudan and shares a border with the country of Chad. The United Human Rights Council website reports Darfur is home to about 6 million people from 100 different tribes, with all of those people being Muslim. Sudan did not make worldwide headlines due to the Ebola virus, but due to past and present...
by yoursl | Dec 11, 2014 | Women's Sexual Health |
The vagina is an amazing sex organ that is self-cleansing and self-regulating. The pH balance of the vagina is acidic (3-4 on the pH scale) in order to discourage infections from occurring, and this acidic environment is created by naturally-occurring bacteria. In contrast to the vagina, sperm prefer an alkaline environment, which is why semen has a pH level of 7.2-7.8. Because of the difference in pH levels in the vagina, sperm typically will not survive in the vagina for more than one to two hours. When a woman is closest to ovulation during her menstrual cycle, the pH level in her cervical mucus is not as high as during the rest of her cycle, thus making the environment friendlier to sperm. In this friendlier pH level, sperm can survive for up to 2 days. A healthy vagina produces secretions, or discharge, as part of the cleansing process. This discharge is similar in purpose to saliva, which cleanses and regulates the environment of the mouth. Interference of the pH balance in the vagina can create an environment that welcomes infection. Douching is one example of this interference. Vaginal discharge does not contain any waste products. All women have some vaginal discharge, which is made from fluid produced by the walls of the vagina; cervical mucus; uterine and tubal fluid; secretions from glands in the vulva; oil and sweat from glands in the vulva; cells shed from the walls of the vagina; and healthy bacteria. Thus, vaginal discharge is mostly salt water, mucus and cells. Amounts of daily discharge vary from woman to woman. Some women create little discharge while...
by yoursl | Dec 4, 2014 | Bedroom Fun, Dating/Relationships, Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion |
A collage featuring several of the gift ideas in the blog below. The winter holidays are fast approaching. If you need gift ideas with jingle and va va voom, Your Sexy Librarian recommends the following items be stowed under some mistletoe. PrimO Tux Vibe Ring is a premium silicone penis ring from The Screaming O. With features such as 3 vibration speeds and a pulse setting, this little dynamo is sure to please. The ring is latex- and phthalate-free, reusable, waterproof and wireless. The battery has 45-minute life and can be easily replaced. The retail price is between $19.95 and $24.95. Purchase online at The Screaming O or at Lover’s Lane. Cards Against Humanity™ is “a party game for horrible people” and makes a great gift for those with a sense of humor. Warning: the uber-conservative and the easily offended may not enjoy playing this game. The card deck is separated into black question cards and white answer cards. Each player takes turns pulling a question card from the deck. The other players then place an answer card face-down on the table. The player with the question card reads aloud each answer card, and this is where the fun begins. In case you have never played Cards Against Humanity™, this game drips with as much sexual innuendo as you can tolerate, has been known to cause players to laugh non-stop for several hours and can be played with really cool parents. The retail price is $25 for the starter pack with 460 answer cards and 90 question cards and $10 for each 100-card expansion pack. Buy online from the...
by yoursl | Nov 27, 2014 | Just For Fun |
Of all the American holidays, Thanksgiving is the BIG DEAL holiday for me. I spend a massive amount of preparation getting my family’s meal planned and all the ingredients purchased before the crowds hit the stores. I then spend several hours in my mother’s kitchen cooking and baking, usually with her beside me the entire time. Guests who arrive early can see the kitchen dance that she and I do as we move in synch with one another, prepping, cooking, and cleaning as we go. There is always a great deal of taste testing and laughter going on while she and I work. It culminates in all the family sitting down and enjoying a holiday meal together. What has this to do with sexual health, sexual issues, and taboo topics? Not a thing, unless one looks at my birthplace. I am extremely fortunate to have been born a female in the United States of America. A big reason I value being an American is that I am guaranteed freedom of speech. I am allowed by law to research, write, and publish blogs about sexual health, sexual issues, and taboo topics. I can have a conversation with anyone, male or female, with or without someone else being present. Women in some foreign countries are not allowed to obtain an education, little on say or publish whatever they wish or speak to whomever they wish. As an American, I can wear whatever clothing I choose to wear as long as it does not violate any local or state laws. I can emphasize my cleavage every day of my life. My...
by yoursl | Nov 20, 2014 | Just For Fun, Sexual Discussion |
Brown bag speed dating, in which participants wear brown paper grocery bags over their heads during the speed dating event, has made its way from London to New York City. Loveflutter, a dating app that matches people based on personality criteria, is hosting the first of such speed dating events for 60 people in the Big Apple. Participants are charged $25 to attend the event, and the cost includes a brown paper grocery bag and a decorating kit with which to personalize the bags. The bags will have cut-outs for eyes, nose, and mouth so participants can breathe and talk. The idea behind this unusual form of speed dating is that participants get to know people as they are without physical appearances getting in the way. Participants will remove the bags at the end of the event to reveal their physical selves to other participants. Sources: ABC News and bigappled.com Sprout Pharmaceuticals, a Raleigh, North Carolina-based company, is locked in a battle with the Food and Drug Administration over the company’s drug Flibanserin. The latter wants more data on how Flibanserin interacts with other medications prior to approving the new drug. If approved, Flibanserin will be the country’s first prescription medication for the treatment of female sexual dysfunction. In contrast, there are 25 drugs on the market for the treatment of male sexual dysfunction. Sprout has been trying for three years to bring Flibanserin to market as a treatment for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD), in which a woman has no thoughts about sex and lacks desire for sex and is distressed...
by yoursl | Nov 13, 2014 | Uncategorized |
In the world of blogging, trackbacks and pingbacks are a good thing. Both are the same type of comment in which a link has been created to a person’s blog post from an external website, thus allowing a reciprocal link to that website to be created. In a real-life explanation, I posted a blog titled “Learning From the Past,” and a website selling clothing and jewelry inspired by Vivienne Westwood created a pingback to my blog post. The site in question contains a shortened version of her surname, but my mind immediately read “Vivienne Westwood” when I checked the site out. Normally, a pingback is an amazing thing to be given, but I admit I was confused by this clothing company creating not one, but five, pingbacks to my blog post. I could not find any direct link between this clothing line and my blog about sexual health, sexual issues, and other taboo topics. For this reason, I labeled all the pingbacks as spam and thought little about it, until I was stuck in traffic on my drive home. I began to wonder about Vivienne Westwood and if she had any connection to my blog topics, so I did a little research. I discovered she is a famous fashion designer with some direct and much indirect influence on certain aspects of our sexuality today. I personally admire women who encourage others to be strong and to achieve greatness, which is one reason I really wanted to write about Westwood and her connections to our sexuality. ...
by yoursl | Nov 6, 2014 | Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics |
Fetlife.com bills itself as “a free social network for the BDSM and fetish community.” The site claims to have around 3,329,225 members. A young professional I met at a networking event suggested I sign up as a member to learn about the kink world while discovering sources and topics for future blog posts. After my car mechanic with no ties to the young networking professional suggested I sign up as well, I seriously considered the suggestion for a few weeks before checking the site out for myself. At sign up, I knew immediately that I have much to learn about human sexuality, the kink world, fetishes and taboos and fetlife users. I am approaching fetlife with an open mind. I just want to learn as much as I can about fetishes and taboos from an intellectual perspective without having to actually participate in a bondage boot camp or witness a sadomasochist show and tell. Fetlife has a dozen sexual orientation options to select from while creating a user profile. (Note: These terms will be printed in bold in this blog.) The commonly known choices include straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, unsure, and not applicable. Other choices in this category are not as commonly known by some people. Many of the terms were unknown to me, so I searched for definitions and included them below. Heteroflexible is defined by Word Spy as “a heterosexual person who is open to relationships with people of the same sex.” The...
by yoursl | Oct 30, 2014 | Sexual Abuse |
Ray Rice, a former football player for the Baltimore Ravens, has appealed the NFL’s decision to indefinitely suspend him from the league after evidence surfaced that clearly shows Rice in the midst of an act of domestic violence. In a surveillance video, Rice is shown knocking his then fiancée and now wife unconscious in an elevator before hauling her lifeless body out of the elevator and dumping her face-first on the floor. Rice is claiming it is “unfair” that he was punished twice by the NFL for his behavior. The first punishment was a two-day suspension that occurred prior to media sources showing addition footage of the elevator video. Once that extra footage, which shows Rice clearly punching his fiancée/wife in the face, became public, the NFL gave Rice a second punishment of an indefinite suspension from the league. His appeal is scheduled to begin on Nov. 5. From my own and others’ past experiences, I know that domestic violence on the Ray Rice scale does not happen out of nowhere. Domestic violence usually begins slowly, with small attempts to control the victim financially, emotionally, and physically, and then starts to gain speed as the victim loses more of his or her self-esteem throughout the abusive relationship. A Ray Rice incident is on the far end of the domestic violence spectrum and is a good indicator that his relationship with his fiancée/wife most likely is or has been one riddled with domestic violence. The NFL...
by yoursl | Oct 23, 2014 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion |
Wouldn’t it be a fabulous world if we were all Stepford perfect? None of us would ever feel inadequate. We would not have moments of doubt or ridicule. Our relationships would be smooth and glossy, like a Tiffany lamp, not crackled and baroque like a made-in-grade-school mug. Snowflakes and flowers have the potential to be perfect, but not people. We are beautiful in our flaws and emotionally adept through our imperfections. The trick is finding someone who will love us through, and sometimes, in spite of our imperfections. I have more failed relationships than successful one, and my advice comes from personal experience and not from books or expert research. I am sharing what I have done wrong in relationships so that, perhaps, others can learn in an easier way what I learned the hard way. Stop being stubborn. There are moments when people must compromise. Each party in a relationship, be it an intimate one or a business one, needs to be able to reach an agreement with the other party. Don’t compromise on personal morals or values, but do take a two-hour road trip to your partner’s hometown to buy a doughnut at the county fair if it will make your partner happy. Communicate. I am guilty of believing people are mind-readers and will know what I need or want at any given moment. I recently learned to share my intent before asking my partner to join me for...
by yoursl | Oct 16, 2014 | Bedroom Fun, Dating/Relationships, Just For Fun, Sex and Literature, Sexual Discussion |
My collection of sexual health books rivals those of major metropolitan libraries. My residence is littered with these books and is a source of amusement for my friends and family, who peruse small piles of my books when they visit. I almost always have a book with me, and it is almost always a book about something sexual. (Side note: When I shop at my local bookstore, I sit down in the sexual health section, make a stack of books that look interesting, and then make my selections for purchase out of that pile. As I am doing this, I have noticed people avoid me and the aisle I am sitting in as if a plague were present instead of one woman on a quest. My advice for people who need a few moments of peace and quiet is to go sit in the sexual health aisle of a bookstore and enjoy a moment of solitude.) Rarely do I read a sexual health book I think every adult needs to read as well. I have just finished reading an absolute gem of a book called Men Are Pigs And That’s a Good Thing by Ron Sturgeon, who spent four years interviewing men and women for his book. Sturgeon took the techniques he used to build successful businesses and applied them to suggest ways to create long-lasting, sex-filled relationships for adults of all ages. His book is geared toward the heterosexual male-female relationship, but his suggestions for building intimacy can be used by anyone of any...
