by yoursl | Oct 23, 2014 | Dating/Relationships, Sexual Discussion |
Wouldn’t it be a fabulous world if we were all Stepford perfect? None of us would ever feel inadequate. We would not have moments of doubt or ridicule. Our relationships would be smooth and glossy, like a Tiffany lamp, not crackled and baroque like a made-in-grade-school mug. Snowflakes and flowers have the potential to be perfect, but not people. We are beautiful in our flaws and emotionally adept through our imperfections. The trick is finding someone who will love us through, and sometimes, in spite of our imperfections. I have more failed relationships than successful one, and my advice comes from personal experience and not from books or expert research. I am sharing what I have done wrong in relationships so that, perhaps, others can learn in an easier way what I learned the hard way. Stop being stubborn. There are moments when people must compromise. Each party in a relationship, be it an intimate one or a business one, needs to be able to reach an agreement with the other party. Don’t compromise on personal morals or values, but do take a two-hour road trip to your partner’s hometown to buy a doughnut at the county fair if it will make your partner happy. Communicate. I am guilty of believing people are mind-readers and will know what I need or want at any given moment. I recently learned to share my intent before asking my partner to join me for...
by yoursl | Oct 16, 2014 | Bedroom Fun, Dating/Relationships, Just For Fun, Sex and Literature, Sexual Discussion |
My collection of sexual health books rivals those of major metropolitan libraries. My residence is littered with these books and is a source of amusement for my friends and family, who peruse small piles of my books when they visit. I almost always have a book with me, and it is almost always a book about something sexual. (Side note: When I shop at my local bookstore, I sit down in the sexual health section, make a stack of books that look interesting, and then make my selections for purchase out of that pile. As I am doing this, I have noticed people avoid me and the aisle I am sitting in as if a plague were present instead of one woman on a quest. My advice for people who need a few moments of peace and quiet is to go sit in the sexual health aisle of a bookstore and enjoy a moment of solitude.) Rarely do I read a sexual health book I think every adult needs to read as well. I have just finished reading an absolute gem of a book called Men Are Pigs And That’s a Good Thing by Ron Sturgeon, who spent four years interviewing men and women for his book. Sturgeon took the techniques he used to build successful businesses and applied them to suggest ways to create long-lasting, sex-filled relationships for adults of all ages. His book is geared toward the heterosexual male-female relationship, but his suggestions for building intimacy can be used by anyone of any...
by yoursl | Sep 18, 2014 | Dating/Relationships, Men's Sexual Health, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Women's Sexual Health |
Herpes simplex virus is a common contagious viral infection and is classified into two categories: herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1) and herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2). Under a microscope, the two viruses are almost identical as they share about 50 percent of their DNA. Both strains of the herpes virus infect human mucosal surfaces before establishing latency, which is the period between infection with a virus and the onset of symptoms, in the nervous system. Basically, the virus lies in wait in a person’s nerves until the time is right for an outbreak of herpes. The HSV-1 virus prefers to establish latency in the trigeminal ganglion, a collection of nerve cells near the ear, and from there can recur on the lower face or lip. The HSV-2 virus prefers to establish latency in the sacral ganglion at the base of the spine and recurs in the genital area. Thus why HSV-1 is often referred to as oral herpes and HSV-2 as genital herpes. About two-thirds of people infected with herpes, regardless of the type, are asymptomatic, or without symptoms, or they experience symptoms too mild to notice. Both types of herpes viruses can recur and spread even when no symptoms are present. HSV-1 causes oral herpes on the lips, mouth, gums, and/or face. These small, usually painful blisters are often referred to as cold sores and like to form in the soft moist skin that lines the lips, mouth and nose. Cold sores can form on ordinary skin if there is a break in the skin that...
by yoursl | Sep 11, 2014 | Bedroom Fun, Dating/Relationships, Men's Sexual Health, Sexual Discussion, Taboo Topics, Women's Sexual Health |
Your Sexy Librarian is a real woman with family and social obligations, a relationship that takes compromise and understanding in order to remain strong, and a demanding job in the corporate world. I research and write all of my blogs. Each blog is then edited by one of three editors: an experienced copy editor at a newspaper, an ace reporter who specializes in government and investigative journalism, and a former sports writer and editor who now works in the pharmaceutical industry. My editors work for free because they believe in me. And where else will they get to edit writing about sexual health, sexual issues, and other taboo topics? I want to write blogs about interesting topics, and I need real people with experiences who will share their stories with me to help keep my blog going. When I attend networking events, I ask people to suggest stories or sources to me. I am usually met with wide eyes and hesitation, which is why I am asking via the internet for reliable sources to help me educate and re-educate adults in this country and abroad. I work in the healthcare industry and deal with hundreds of people’s most personal information on a daily basis. It is a Federally-mandated job requirement to keep that patient information confidential, and I will treat sources for my blogs with the same respect by ensuring all sources will be protected and kept confidential. Names can and will be changed to better conceal the identities of those who do not want their confidences told to their families, neighbors,...
by yoursl | Sep 4, 2014 | Dating/Relationships |
Patti Stanger is the master of matchmaking in the Bravo TV show “Millionaire Matchmaker.” On a past episode, a client went to Stanger for help in breaking her string of bad relationships she had been experiencing. Stanger advised her client to create a list of non-negotiables, which are the key values and personality traits the client wanted in her potential mate. The premise is the list will keep the client from dating the same not-right-for-her people. I was inspired by this episode to create a list of five non-negotiables for my own dating life because I was tired of my dating failures. I wanted to find a life partner, and that was not going to happen with continual bad first dates. It was like I was stuck in the movie “Groundhog Day.” After the creation of the five non-negiotiables, potential dates had to meet at least three of the five to merit a first date. I would not consider a relationship with anyone mastering less than four non-negotiables. My friends thought the five non-negotiables were an odd approach until I explained what a valuable tool they were in my hunt for a mate, especially since I was using an online dating service. My friends now think the five non-negotiables are a brilliant idea. My mother, who does not pry into my personal life beyond asking if I am happy, was encouraging and kept telling me to stick with the non-negotiables, despite the level of complexity they added to my dating life. The first...
