by yoursl | Apr 7, 2016 | Dating/Relationships, Men's Sexual Health, Sex and Culture, Sex and History, Sex and Literature, Sex and Science, Sexual Discussion, Sexual Exploration, Women's Sexual Health |
Historically, America has held a somewhat negative societal view of masturbation that can be traced back to several centuries ago. In America in the 18th and 19th centuries, the perfect storm collided to help condemn masturbation as being a degenerate act. Decades of the Judeo-Christian tradition of condemning masturbation as being a misuse of one’s sexuality combined with the general prudishness of the Victorian era, which lasted from 1837 to 1901, and with the Great Awakening religious revivals of the early 18th century to the late 19th century to land masturbation into the banned acts arena. Literary works during the Victorian era helped move masturbation from being just a socially wicked act to being one of a physical and mental health nature that required medical treatments and even cures to eradicate. One of the biggest opponents of masturbation during this time was American physician Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (1852-1943), who thought sex was detrimental to our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. He had evener stricter views on masturbation. In addition to sharing his anti-masturbation and anti-sex beliefs with others, Dr. Kellogg physically lived his beliefs and values. It is believed that Dr. Kellogg was celibate, that he and his wife never consummated their marriage, that they kept separate bedrooms during their entire marriage and that all eight of their children were adopted. Dr. Kellogg was raised as a devote Seventh-day Adventist and kept to his faith all throughout his life. He went to medical school before returning to his home state of Michigan where he would eventually practice as a physician at an Adventist-operated sanitarium. In his written work...
by yoursl | Jan 14, 2016 | LGBT, Sex and Art, Sex and Culture, Sexual Exploration |
Music is a refuge from the stress and turmoil of everyday life for many people, even Your Sexy Librarian. While listening to a local radio station one morning, Lou Reed’s ‘Walk on the Wild Side’ played. I have always enjoyed this song and picked up on the meaning of the lyrics the first time I heard the song played (blame Coolest. Mom. Ever. for giving me unlimited and uncensored access to all things written). Let’s take a look at the man and the story behind this gem, which features drugs, prostitution and transvestites. Lewis Allan “Lou” Reed was born on March 2, 1942, in Brooklyn, New York, into a middle-class Jewish family. In 1952, Reed’s family moved to a suburban house in Freeport, located on the south shore of Long Island, where Reed and his younger sister Merrill spent the majority of their youth. According to his sister, the move from social Brooklyn to isolated Freeport is what would drive Reed to music, possibly as his own refuge from the world around him. Several print sources from the 1970s have identified Reed as being homosexual and has having struggled with his sexuality when he was a teenager. Medical care was approached differently in the 1950s. When Reed’s doctor suggested electroshock therapy for 17-year-old Reed, his parents went along with the doctor. These treatments caused Reed to suffer memory loss and have trouble concentrating. In 1960, Reed began to study at Syracuse University. He started playing music in bands and started using drugs more heavily. He would make his way to New York City. Reed was the guitarist, vocalist...
by yoursl | Dec 31, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, LGBT, Sexual Exploration |
This week’s blog is a letter from reader Brian about his personal experiences with being gay and with coming out. I did a little bit of editing, but the story is still all his in content. I thank Brian for sharing his experiences with all of us and for giving me his blessing on publishing a part of his life’s journey. Xoxo Dear Readers, As I look back at my past and at my path of self-discovery and enlightenment regarding my sexuality, I realize that it was quite an arduous and anguishing journey. In the past decade we have seen the stigma and condemnation surrounding being homosexual diminish to the point where the millennial generation finds it challenging to accept just how complicated and petrifying the process of coming out had been for the preceding generation. As far back as I can remember, I knew that I was attracted more to boys than to girls. I was far too young to comprehend the notion of sexuality or sex at that age, but I was fascinated by my own private parts. It wasn’t long before curiosity regarding other boys began to manifest. Even as young as I was at the time, something always felt wrong about this – I did not know or recognize then but now believe that this feeling was due to the societal inference that boys were supposed to like girls and that it was wrong to like boys instead. My first sexual experience happened during a sleepover with my childhood best friend. I would sleep in my bed, and he would sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag. I...
by yoursl | Dec 3, 2015 | Dating/Relationships, LGBT, Sex and Art, Sex and History, Sexual Discussion, Sexual Exploration |
People have been fascinated with movies for more than a century now. The first movie theatre devoted to showing moving pictures was the Nickelodeon, which opened on June 19, 1905, in Pittsburgh, Penn. The name Nickelodeon was a combination of the price of admission, a nickel, with the ancient Greek word for theatre, odeon. The theatre’s owner Harry Davis, a vaudeville impresario, bought a machine called a cinematograph from a Frenchman named Lumiere and set up a storefront theatre where everyone could afford the admission price. Davis showed a 10-minute thriller, The Great Train Robbery. A bonus scene at the end of the short film featured the film’s bandit, actor George Barnes, pointing his revolver at the camera lens and shooting point-blank directly into the camera. Audiences were terrified, but the love of movies was born as a result of this unexpected drama. Davis’ low overhead meant he could show the movie several times a day to thousands of people. Within months, Davis had opened more than a dozen Nickelodeons throughout Pittsburgh. Movies are magical in that they allow us to trade our own realities for new ones, even for just a few hours, and that they can give us a different perspective of the world around us and of other people in lifestyles different than our own. Currently showing in theatres is The Danish Girl, which may make some people uncomfortable due to its controversial subject matter. The Danish Girl, released in the United States on November 27, is about artist Einar Wegener (Eddie Redmayne), who prepares to undergo one of the first sex-change operations with...
by yoursl | Aug 21, 2014 | Bedroom Fun, Sex Toys, Sexual Exploration |
Many years ago, I worked with an intern who openly shared information about her private life. She once told me that she was a virgin and that she allowed and encouraged her sex partners to insert various sex toys into her vagina. This seemed contradictory to me at the time she shared this with me. Now that I am halfway through an online course from Indiana University about sexual health education, the intern makes sense. By textbook definition, she maintained her virginity as long as there was no actual penile penetration. She was expressing her sexuality and sensuality through the use of sex toy play as opposed to penile-vaginal intercourse. She was still having sex, but in a creative way. Sex toy play can be exciting and fun as well as beneficial and even therapeutic for some users. For sex partners who are stuck in a sex routine, introducing a sex toy can add a level of excitement and adventure to their sexual activities. The introduction of the sex toy alone can help open the channels of communication for some partners. For example, a partner with reservations about having a sex toy used on his or her body or about using a sex toy on someone else needs to communicate any fears or concerns to his or her partner before using the toy. Having an open line of non-judgmental communication can increase intimacy for those partners. As one partner is using a sex toy on the other, the partner receiving the attention needs to tell the partner what feels good and where something feels good. This can be extremely...
by yoursl | Jul 31, 2014 | Bedroom Fun, Sexual Exploration |
I never really thought of a blindfold as a secret weapon of seduction until I saw a grown woman tied to a chair and wearing a blindfold while another woman walked lightly and quietly around the chair as she teased and taunted the bound woman with a feather-ended wand. The woman’s raw reactions as the feather danced daintily up her bare arm, bounced and twirled over the side of her naked neck, moved on up as it lightly caressed her face, and ended with a flick of the feather on her sensitive ear was simply jaw dropping. She gasped in surprise and moaned in pleasure. She strained against her bonds as she moved away and, sometimes, into the movement of the feather. This woman had never been blindfolded or tied up before, and she later said the experience was very enjoyable. The thrill of the unexpected can help heighten some sexual responses as well as create an environment for some people that fosters communication about sexual likes and dislikes. Science has proven through medical studies that when one of the five senses is deprived or missing, the remaining four senses typically become heightened or enhanced. Eliminating distractions through use of a blindfold can help those people with attention disorders concentrate and maintain focus more easily. If we limit what we can see by the use of a blindfold, we will better hear the giggles and moans of our partners and our skin will most likely be more responsive to our partners’ touch, be it tickles, licks, or kisses. Humans are curious by nature. Blindfolds prevent us from knowing what...
